The Republic of Heaven

Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will) edited

A place for all you creative sraffies to post your stories, songs, poems, and photos

Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will) edited

Postby MichaelR » Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:18 pm

Hello,

This is my first attempt at the HDM world and I'm not very well versed in the Canon yet. Criticism appreciated - for both canon compliance and writing. (Also, does any Irish stuff in the text require notes to explain?)

Kudos to Ceres Wunderkind - his "Ten Commandments" sparked the idea for the story.
Also thanks for all the feedback so far, edited to reflect it.

==
PLAN B

By Michael R

"No, Xaphania. If I wanted an ancient woman to tell me what not to do, I'd have stayed in the convent. Besides, I'm supposed to be the Serpent, and the Serpent does NOT take orders."

Mary closed the chat window and killed the program. Then she got back to writing the program code for that shiny new Linux cluster. She was going to fix everything.

==

"Wake up, Will. Wake up and talk to me now".

"Uh... Mary, what's the matter? School is over and I've done my Leaving exam, can't you leave me the heck alone?"

"Sure you did yiour exams and by your own words, they were not all that good, too. The math, fair enough, but you can do way better on the others. And, you flied to England as usual – we're luusky to have Ryanair. You've been sitting on your backside since then - not a single day out, and the weather is real grand!"

"Yeah, not raining is real grand for this place. And I'm just worried what uni I'll make it into now. I wanted medicine but not a chance with the score I'll get".

"Well, you always say you are worried. When we lived back in Oxford, you were worried about your mom and that semblance of a school in Oxford. Then, when the scandal about the priests hit the fan and my uncle called all bright and friendly, you were worried he'd be playing jokes. Then the Celtic Tiger roared and got me a job here in Limerick, and we moved, and my folks helped your mom get comfy in the nursing home down the road, you were worried you were in a new country – one across a tine seam that after all your travels! You hardly ever smile. Just once you tried to go out with that Polish girl, and that went bust after she showed you her old clock!"

"Yeah... she said her dad called it a chronometer. Could not help it. But I'll be all right Mary".

"I know how all right you're gonna be. You have failed your driving test, that means no legal driving for nearly a year because of the darned queues. And then you tried to get coke - not the bottled kind, too".

"How would you know THAT?!"

"I just know". (There was no need to tell Will of some connections).

"And now what?"

"And now, Billy boy, you have an hour to be dressed and have a properly filled backpack. And off we go."

==

Ninety minutes later, a huffing and puffing Will, after hastily filling himself with yesterday's takeaway hanburger, piled into the small red car, dropping the no less hastily stuffed backpack into the boot. Kirjava jumped in and settled under the passenger seat. Mary was impatiently knocking her fingers against the wheel; Will could hardly close the door before she briskly moved the car, turned out from their Dooradoyle estate, and drove towards the city centre.

"So, are we off to some mountains?" - Will asked, still a bit sleepy and completely uncertain.

"No".

"Music in Ennis?"

"No".

"All the way to Dublin then?"

"No. Look, Will, we both know what is going on - what you're living is not a life at all, long or short. And I'm going to sort you out now".

"Are you taking me to some psychiatric quack?"

"NO, you..." - Mary did not say the characterization out loud - "We are off to the University, where I work".

"You mean -"

"Yes, I do." It was Saturday so they were moving fast enough even in the normally crowded centre.

"But HOW? I know you did open a window back then, but didn't you wreck that computer?"

"I didn't wreck the code out of my head, and what was a big machine five years ago is pretty much what they have in any half-decent IT lab today. It's called Moore's Law. Wait another ten years and you could get a window out of a mobile phone."

"And what about that stuff on building that republic?"

"Look, I know 'em Republicans. The IRA, they were called here. They put up grand words about the people, the real government, fighting oppression, and what not; they don't care for actual individuals, and happily blow them up. And this seems to work in all worlds. But I have my own promises, and that's to be your friend, not of any republic of theirs."

Will noticed they turned into Castletroy and the University was fast approaching. The University - and then what?..

"But... if I go now - I never get to see mom again? And you? And..."

"Don't worry, I have talked to her already. You must make sure to be in the same place on December 22 – so you have almost six months. You are coming back in time for the big family Christmas night, and she is sure to be there. Then you will know if you want to go or stay. And we'll talk about it then - not now".

She pulled into the car park.

In another hour she was back. She was alone in the cabin - except, of course, for the black bird, but she would not concentrate to see him. Will was nowhere to be found in this world.

==
==
==
==
==

There was no snow that December 22 evening, and no one was expecting any for Christmas either. In Ireland, "Still dreaming of a white Christmas" is a rather wild dream.

It was, therefore, an easy enough drive for Mary when she brought a silent Will back into the car. The cat was asleep on his shoulders, and Mary carefully moved her into the back seat, next to the half-empty backpack - quite forgetful of the rules. Will never objected; he would spend half the way in some deep thoughts. But then he stirred and asked for Dolan's.

Dolan's is a place with nice food and still better music, and Mary certainly had no objection to that. They left the backpack in the car, and Kirjava woke up and hid under the table they took. She was the only one unhappy to be in this place of noise and fun, but only because she would prefer the quiet of Mary's apartment – where, she knew, she might end up living for quite a while again.

At first Will stayed silent. But the Irish stew seemed to improve his mood.

"At least I left her a proper parting gift, that I did... I wonder if you guessed it would end like that."

"Perhaps I did, Will. But I could not leave you floating into nowhere, pulled by a memory that would not let you go".

"You know, Mary, I spent quite some time in their library. And that's where I got that gift for Lyra".

"Snatched a book, huh?" - Mary's light tone hardly concealed her eagerness to know.

"No. Just read some, on her alethiometer thing. It stunned me when I understood - the real math there is quite simple. But the books conceal it with layers and layers of procedures and high-sounding junk. I wrote a couple of sheets, and left an envelope for her. She will stun the college with her reading once she has that."

"Is that so? Their church must have hid the thing..."

"They probably did. But I found it, because - you know, Mary, I really had no other place to go these last weeks. We could hardly even talk, and the rest of that world - it's just not mine. And to think that no one could have torn us apart for the first days, and I was joyfully playing with every tricky toy of theirs. But something happened, slowly, as if water was trickling away through a hole - and then you find the big barrel nearly empty... You wouldn't believe it, Mary -"

And then, to Will's utter surprise, Mary laughed. And when you hear the unbridled laughter of a fair Irish lady, you never know whether you have completely pleased her or she sees you as a prime fool.

"What's the matter, Mary... Mary?" - it was some minutes before she could stop.

"It's all right, lad. You're grand. I do believe you, and you have just confirmed all my theories".

"Heck - what theories? What's going on here?"

"It's really obvious once you have a good look, Will. The alethiometer had to have a simple way of reading - it works with a single force of nature, not with some software mammoth from a commercial company. Their church did hide this knowledge in the books, but Lyra grasped it by intuition - and that gave her the reading power she had.

"How would she lose it, then? I doubt the angels could kick it out of her mind, not without driving her insane. It would have to be herself, because her mind would not want - would not dare - to believe it.

"And that's how I knew what was on the alethiometer when she gave it the big question. This gave me a Plan B, and we've just gone through it.

"She probably asked something about herself and you - what else could she be thinking of? We don't know the exact question, but the answer would not satisfy her. It would indeed drive her nuts. So her mind protected her – she failed to read it, and ended up losing the intuition grasp.

“It is beautiful indeed that you, of all people, also gave Lyra her reading back - as I'm quite sure she will make good use of it. I just hope she is wise enough not to tell the wrong ears about the discovery.

"Come on, the stew is nearly cold now, nad there's music here to enjoy. And after that, I have some more stories to tell you. There's more to food than marzipan, you know."

What Mary did not say was that, try as she might, she could not find any marzipan with that old, cherished taste in all the sweet-shops of Limerick and Dublin.
Last edited by MichaelR on Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:40 am, edited 8 times in total.
MichaelR
Grazer
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:55 pm

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby Philharmonic » Fri Jan 23, 2009 10:37 pm

uh...i take it there is going to be a part 2 because i can literally see the stars spinning around my head.

seriously, the story is very good but its confusing. can anyone else interpret better than me? (which isnt that hard)
Image

Stardate 53476.8. Captain's log. Still won't flush. I'll try again later.
User avatar
Philharmonic
Angel
 
Posts: 932
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:28 pm
Location: Some small corner of a foreign field that is forever England

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby MichaelR » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:34 pm

if only... wrote:uh...i take it there is going to be a part 2 because i can literally see the stars spinning around my head.

seriously, the story is very good but its confusing. can anyone else interpret better than me? (which isnt that hard)


No Part 2 is needed, and I'm really thinking what to do now.

UPDATE. I rewrote the December part.
MichaelR
Grazer
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:55 pm

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby Peter » Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:49 pm

Yes, this is good and an excellent take on the perennial W&L reunion theme. I think you've done a good job with a difficult idea.

However... I'm all for making things implicit rather than explicit and making the readers work for themselves, but I think you may have sold the central idea of this story a bit short. There's a fine line between over- and under-explanation and I suspect you may have fallen onto the under-side.

Have another look through it and see if you can't make it a bit easier to work out what's really going on, without, of course, spelling it out in words of one syllable. :)
User avatar
Peter
Not an endangered species
 
Posts: 5212
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2003 11:36 am
Website: http://www.cereswunderkind.net
Location: Oakingham

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby Philharmonic » Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:33 pm

i still cant tell what happened. is the story implying that will went back to lyras world?

or was there an angel messenger boy involved?
Image

Stardate 53476.8. Captain's log. Still won't flush. I'll try again later.
User avatar
Philharmonic
Angel
 
Posts: 932
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:28 pm
Location: Some small corner of a foreign field that is forever England

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby MichaelR » Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:42 pm

if only... wrote:i still cant tell what happened. is the story implying that will went back to lyras world?

or was there an angel messenger boy involved?


Will went to Lyra's world - otherwise how would he spend time in a library readong about the alethiometer?

EDIT. Thanks for the tip - I didn't realize not everyone knows when "Leaving" happens. (It is the Irish examination that concludes school and gives one score to enter universities). I added the "summer day" phrase, to make it clear some months had to pass.
MichaelR
Grazer
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:55 pm

Re: Plan B (really short, characters: Mary Malone, Will)

Postby MichaelR » Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:38 am

Returned to this after a long while and edited.

Also, a clarification. There is a nursing home in Dooradoyle, Limerick, not far from the place where Mary and will live. This is a rather “upmarket” area. While the University is in Castletroy on the other side of town, Mary and Will, when moving from Oxford to Limerick for her University job, decided to get a place in Dooradoyle both because it is more pleasant and because of the proximity to the nursing home. And to commute, Mary got a nice small car. Namely a 1998 Opel Corsa, which the author of this owned in later years, and will always remember because he learned to drive in it.
MichaelR
Grazer
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:55 pm


Return to “%s” The Artroom

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests

Content © 2001-2011 BridgeToTheStars.Net.
Images from The Golden Compass movie are © New Line Cinema.
cron