The Republic of Heaven

M: Drafts of letters?

Discussion for the adaptations of HDM: Movie (M), Audio (A), Stage Play (SP) and Sega’s videogame (VG).

M: Drafts of letters?

Postby namster » Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:56 am

There's been talk of a fan petition/letter from BridgetotheStars.net to New Line Cinema. Though I doubt the site's administrators have come to a final decision, I present to you my first draft of a letter -- more or less complete, but subject to change. Hopefully it'll inspire fans to draft letters of their own. It's doubtful that anyone influential in New Line will give any of our messages a second thought, but hell, it was good to write. If any action is to be taken from this site, we should probably come to a decision soon and maybe coordinate with HisDarkMaterials.org to pool our resources together.

Let me know if I should keep this letter public on the board, or keep it private... I'm just posting this openly for now for lack of a better alternative.

Let us know what you administrators decide!

Note: corrections will appear in bold.




Version 01 - January 05 2007
----------------------------------------



To the honorable executives of New Line Cinema,

My name is *********** and I am the co-founder of the students' film society at ****** University.

I have long adored New Line's The Lord of the Rings film trilogy. In addition, I am one of the staunchest supporters of New Line's The Golden Compass.

The Golden Compass has assembled the most impressive cast and crew of any major motion picture in the past four years; not since The Return of the King has such ravishing talent been mustered. Despite impressive earnings abroad, The Golden Compass has nevertheless underperformed domestically. Many in the fan community are troubled by the possibility that New Line Cinema may choose to forgo the sequels to the His Dark Materials film series, despite the high international gross. In the following letter, I will passionately argue my case as to why New Line Cinema should invest in an expanded DVD cut of The Golden Compass and likewise invest in the sequels The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass. The greatest argument I can make is that New Line Cinema has everything to gain from this enterprise. Your company owns the rights to the most important collection of fantasy literature of this generation: His Dark Materials. In all honesty, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass adaptations (if handled honestly) have the potential to become some of the most acclaimed films of our time, and an extended edition DVD of The Golden Compass is a smart investment to promote these sequels.

There are ample reasons to produce an "expanded" DVD edition for The Golden Compass, and all of these reasons inevitably benefit the interests of New Line Cinema. It is well-known that the theatrical release of The Golden Compass is a 1:50min abbreviated version of the original (approx.) 2:45min cut -- without the film's intended ending. Although the theatrical cut is an excellent movie on its own merits, critics argued that the story felt unfinished, observing that several plotlines and character arcs were left unexplained by the film's end. An overwhelming majority of critics (both positive and negative) agree that, in the end, the last-minute editing decisions left the story unbalanced. As it stands, the film is excellent, but it could have been magnificent. The final act brings all of the book's themes in perspective, shows us acts of creation and destruction, and is easily the most infernal climax to a fantasy novel ever. Both critics and audiences adore emotional & powerful endings (the commercial success of Twelve Monkeys and Gladiator, for instance), as is proven time and time again, and I have no doubt that the original cut of The Golden Compass would have swept the Academy Awards and changed the minds of its detractors -- what critic would not be moved by such a beautifully tragic ending? Such a movie could have garnered even more acclaim, enjoyed warmer critical reception, and have had better word-of-mouth to attract movie-goers. In addition, by arranging the Bolvangar and Svalbard scenes in the original (correct) chronological order, the storyline would flow far more coherently. I sincerely and wholeheartedly believe that an extended cut of The Golden Compass -- with the ending included -- would have been a spectacular critical & commercial success for New Line Cinema, and would have easily won awards in all the major categories. For instance, the lead actors all give exhaulting performances, but they may have to forfeit their Oscar nominations because their most powerful on-screen moments at the climax of the film were not shown in the theatrical release. I am only pointing this out to assure you that New Line Cinema made a very good investment in The Dark Materials franchise and there is riveting potential in this series. For all these reasons, I am convinced that New Line Cinema ought to release the original cut of The Golden Compass on DVD and give the filmmakers ample resources to make this happen (such as funds for re-shoots and post-production work, in the spirit of Peter Jackson's extended editions). As I see it, this would be the smartest investment your company could make for the upcoming sequels. At the moment, New Line Cinema is not planning to include the deleted ending on The Golden Compass DVD on the basis that it will appear in The Subtle Knife anyways. However, showing that ending now is important to demonstrate how magnificent The Subtle Knife will be, to captivate the public, to amaze old and new audiences, to prove that the His Dark Materials movies will be classics, to raise people's hopes that The Subtle Knife movie will be worth seeing again and again. Once the public watches this extended cut of The Golden Compass and realizes what a truly spectacular film Chris Weitz has made, the sequels' success will be assured. Releasing an extended edition of The Golden Compass movie on DVD would revive interest in the series to both fans and non-fans, and most importantly, revive interest in the sequels.

The His Dark Materials trilogy is the most colorful and intelligent and meaningful fantasy series the world has seen, a fount of discovery and globetrekking and metaphysical wonder. No other series in recent memory can match His Dark Material's synthesis of riveting storytelling, intellectual depth, novelty, and accessibility to readers of all backgrounds. Each novel has the potential to be translated into "the perfect film": at once artistically exquisite, deeply human, and widely appealing. Even at first glance, they easily dwarf The Hobbit in ambition and in human drama. Readers have long held the belief that a His Dark Materials movie franchise could have rivaled New Line's own remarkable The Lord of the Rings movie franchise -- if not surpass it -- simply owing to the sublime richness of the book's universe, the urgent passion of its characters, and its provocative themes. There is evidence to suggest that the His Dark Materials films could in fact have been that successful. Judging by the apparently high quality of Chris Weitz's original script, it is the belief of many in the fan community that director Chris Weitz could have made a film good enough to surpass the Narnia and Harry Potter films by a wide margin. Interviews with Chris Weitz have clealy demonstrated his devotion to making the best film he possibly can, and apparently, his original script came close. We in the fan community humbly encourage New Line Cinema to aid him in this endeavor and to support him in his decisions; because if he intends to make the best film he possibly can, and succeeds, then that film has the potential to match the success of The Lord of the Rings and more. The His Dark Materials novels have earned unprecedented international acclaim (considered to be "smarter" than The Lord of the Rings books and more "responsible" than Narnia), and an earnest & faithful adaptation of The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass by a devoted fan like Chris Weitz can achieve equal success -- and he now has the experience to make such a success possible. Weitz's original (i.e. more faithful) vision for the His Dark Materials film series should be nurtured, for it can still lead to a highly successful award-winning film trilogy in the image of The Lord of the Rings, a motion picture franchise to not only compete with the others... but to dominate them. And to dominate, it needs to be marketed as "adult" fare; His Dark Materials is serious adult literature and that is the reason for its irresistable appeal, and fortunately, audiences across North American are thirsty for the next big "adult" fantasy franchise. The next film can be magnificent, and The Subtle Knife needs to be taken in that direction at once; it deserves to be more daring in its content (violence & sorrow make for scathing drama), more mature in its presentation (for an older target audience), deeper in its intrigue (controversy is maddeningly exciting), with a more generous running-time to give justice to an important & satisfying story. Your company gave Peter Jackson incredible creative independence, and his' turned out to be the greatest success story in the history of motion picture. For all these reasons, I humbly ask that New Line Cinema put more faith in Chris Weitz's vision; based on all of the available evidence, Chris Weitz can go far with His Dark Materials, very far.

The honorable executives of New Line Cinema should be aware that you own the rights to -- potentially -- the most important book franchise of the modern world. Its filmmaker, in turn, wants to turn them into some of the greatest films of the decade; to achieve this end he will need greater autonomy (over the final cut, for instance). This decade has proven the undeniable appeal of serious fantasy filmmaking and its exciting potential for acclaim, popularity, and profitability. It is the hope of the fan community that New Line Cinema will soon own the two most successful film franchises of the century -- The Lord of the Rings and His Dark Materials. That is still our hope.

Sincerely,

- ***********
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Pausert » Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:14 am

Looks good but you need to run it through a spell check. You missed an r in clearly and added and h to exalting. There was also another word I can't find... Also, you may need to justify why Newline should release the original ending and produce TSK. It wouldn't make sense to release the first 20 minutes of a movie a year before its release.

I like the idea of a letter writing campaign. I know that I'll write but I'll have to work at being non-confrontational...
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby delta10 » Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:21 am

This is a good first draft. You've got some super ideas here that I would never have thought of. You are on the right track!

A few thoughts in general for you and others writing letters:

1. Logical and structured organization of ideas is key! Split the letter into well defined paragraphs, each with its own specific and clearly identifiable topic. Remember you are leading your reader through a narrative describing the path from a less than impressive start with TGC, to epoch-making success with the HDM movie franchise. Each step of the path should make sense and lead logically to the next.

2. Be careful about making broad assertions and claims without sufficient evidence. The broader and more sweeping a statement, the stronger the supporting evidence you must present for it to be believeable. If you can't find a way to support a broad statement, better to leave it out rather than having it sound like mere fan hype.

3. Split long thoughts into multiple sentences, rather than trying to put too many ideas into one sentence. You only get 2 commas per sentence. :)

(Remember that high quality writing is itself persuasive.)
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby jessia » Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:39 am

i haven't read through the whole thing yet but perhaps more concise? it needs to get straight to the point (i think most important being directoral freedom and the audience's attention span being longer than two hours and how it wouldn't counter profitability) - remember, these are the people who don't think theme is important and that the target audience can't handle three hours of an excellent story. i'd also describe the desired release as a "director's cut" rather than "extended edition" because the prior implies artistic freedom while the latter is broader and might be mistaken for quantity over quality and un-special features.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Roronoa Zoro » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:32 am

I like the letter a great deal, but it may be beneficial to cut it down substantially. It would be disheartening were the reader to see the length of the letter and pass on it. We are talking about hollywood, after all. :wink:
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Peter » Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:12 am

Make it no longer than one side of A4. Alternatively, make side one the executive summary and expand on it in the body of the text.

Emphasise how your ideas help NL maximise their profits.

Don't use green ink...
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby green ink » Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:37 am

Peter wrote:Don't use green ink...


Why? What's wrong with me?
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Peter » Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:57 pm

green ink wrote:
Peter wrote:Don't use green ink...

Why? What's wrong with me?

NL have a contract out on you. What - you didn't know :?:
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby namster » Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:47 pm

Much obliged! Thank you for reading that mammoth letter-thingy, I plan on applying your suggestions later this week...

Pausert wrote:Looks good but you need to run it through a spell check. You missed an r in clearly and added and h to exalting. There was also another word I can't find... Also, you may need to justify why Newline should release the original ending and produce TSK. It wouldn't make sense to release the first 20 minutes of a movie a year before its release.

Yeah, something bad happened to my spellcheck, kinda like the Avian flu of Microsoftware. Thanks for pointing that out, but gosh the original ending quagmire is such a complicated chicken to write about, ai ya. My approach (i.e. release the ending now to promote the sequel) may not be the most "convincing" one, but it's the point of view that I can argue the best for now.

delta10 wrote:2. Be careful about making broad assertions and claims without sufficient evidence. The broader and more sweeping a statement, the stronger the supporting evidence you must present for it to be believeable. If you can't find a way to support a broad statement, better to leave it out rather than having it sound like mere fan hype.

Thank you delta10! Yeah, the sad consequence of brainstorming during a fan-induced fugue; it's like blood alcohol, thoughts of what The Golden Compass "could have been" sweep across my brain and I just lose all control. I can't thank you enough for teasing that out, it sounds crazy now that I reread it. It's not that I don't mean everything I say, I do, but I still sound pretty nutty.

jessia wrote:i'd also describe the desired release as a "director's cut" rather than "extended edition" because the prior implies artistic freedom while the latter is broader and might be mistaken for quantity over quality and un-special features.

Oh, I see. Hmm. Well I've thought of using "director's cut" many times but wasn't sure if it was too confrontational a word. And I suppose I wanted to distinguish it somehow from the "director's cut" that Weitz mentioned in his interview last month, which I assumed didn't include the correct Bolvangar --> Svalbard chronology nor the ending. It's all so confusing...

Roronoa Zoro wrote:I like the letter a great deal, but it may be beneficial to cut it down substantially. It would be disheartening were the reader to see the length of the letter and pass on it. We are talking about hollywood, after all. :wink:

Ha ha, yeah, it's my lifelong tendency to write "straight from the heart" in the true French bohemian sense. My school papers are so disorganized, but my movie reviews fare better... I'll follow delta10's advice and erase some of my more "broad assertions", hopefully that will trim some of the fat...

Peter wrote:Make it no longer than one side of A4. Alternatively, make side one the executive summary and expand on it in the body of the text.

Che? Sorry, I don't understand what you meant Peter :)
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby green ink » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:01 pm

Peter wrote:
green ink wrote:
Peter wrote:Don't use green ink...

Why? What's wrong with me?

NL have a contract out on you. What - you didn't know :?:


They have?
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Peter » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:15 pm

namster wrote:
Peter wrote:Make it no longer than one side of A4. Alternatively, make side one the executive summary and expand on it in the body of the text.

Che? Sorry, I don't understand what you meant Peter :)


If you're writing to businesspeople you have to do it the right way. An executive summary is a precis of a report. It appears on the front page of a document and contains all the points which are made in its body. Those points are then elaborated in subsequent pages, but a decision maker shouldn't have to spend time reading them as the ES contains the gist of what it says.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby jessia » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:52 pm

Peter wrote:
namster wrote:
Peter wrote:Make it no longer than one side of A4. Alternatively, make side one the executive summary and expand on it in the body of the text.

Che? Sorry, I don't understand what you meant Peter :)

If you're writing to businesspeople you have to do it the right way. An executive summary is a precis of a report. It appears on the front page of a document and contains all the points which are made in its body. Those points are then elaborated in subsequent pages, but a decision maker shouldn't have to spend time reading them as the ES contains the gist of what it says.

like an abstract or a descriptive introduction?

namster wrote:
jessia wrote:i'd also describe the desired release as a "director's cut" rather than "extended edition" because the prior implies artistic freedom while the latter is broader and might be mistaken for quantity over quality and un-special features.

Oh, I see. Hmm. Well I've thought of using "director's cut" many times but wasn't sure if it was too confrontational a word. And I suppose I wanted to distinguish it somehow from the "director's cut" that Weitz mentioned in his interview last month, which I assumed didn't include the correct Bolvangar --> Svalbard chronology nor the ending. It's all so confusing...

i think weitz's cut might include the correctly ordered chronology... you can kind of tell from watching it that the rearrangement might've been done last minute as with the other unhappy edits. in any sense, nomatter who orchestrated that major chronology change, i think it should be weitz who is in charge of any new editions of this movie as he is the one whose name is attached to it. btw, which interview do you speak of?

i think a little bit of confrontation wouldn't hurt as long as it doesn't affect the overall tone of the letter. it's important to let the producers know that audiences value artistic freedom just as much as the film crew. it's impossible to judge the film accurately when we're unsure of who did what and in this case, most of us have chosen to blame new line for the film's shoddier elements instead.
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into her pure features come from the pure constellations?"
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby delta10 » Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:05 pm

namster wrote:I'll follow delta10's advice and erase some of my more "broad assertions", hopefully that will trim some of the fat...

Suggestions #1 and #3 are just as important. :)

Peter's suggestion about an executive summary is a great idea! - yeah, like an abstract.

A4 is the standard metric paper size for letters - it is slightly longer than 8 1/2 x 11 and slightly narrower. What he means is that the letter, if it doesn't include an executive summary, should not fill up more than one side of a piece of A4 paper.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby namster » Sun Jan 06, 2008 9:10 pm

jessia wrote:i think a little bit of confrontation wouldn't hurt as long as it doesn't affect the overall tone of the letter.

You have a point, I'll keep in that mind when I re-draft this thing. Well, at least I drive home the point that they pillaged what could have been a spectacular "original cut". In any case I'll work on it.

Peter wrote:Make it no longer than one side of A4.
delta10 wrote:Peter's suggestion about an executive summary is a great idea! - yeah, like an abstract. A4 is the standard metric paper size for letters - it is slightly longer than 8 1/2 x 11 and slightly narrower. What he means is that the letter, if it doesn't include an executive summary, should not fill up more than one side of a piece of A4 paper.

Thanks for pointing that out, you guys. This first draft alone takes up 2 whole pages. Hmm. Time for some scissor snipping, a-la New Line Cinema...

jessia wrote:i think weitz's cut might include the correctly ordered chronology... you can kind of tell from watching it that the rearrangement might've been done last minute as with the other unhappy edits. in any sense, nomatter who orchestrated that major chronology change, i think it should be weitz who is in charge of any new editions of this movie as he is the one whose name is attached to it. btw, which interview do you speak of?

Of course it was always Chris's intention to order the film chronologically, I just meant that based on the interview he was doubtful that they'd let him include the ending scene in a "director's cut", so I figured that he also wouldn't be allowed to re-order the movie chronologically either. It was the "Weitz speaks to the fans" interview, no.4 or so, it was printed just after the movie's release date. The timing was priceless. "I know the movie just came out, um, but uh don't worry guys, because THERE'LL BE A DIRECTOR'S CUT! ...thank you and enjoy the film..."

delta10 wrote:Suggestions #1 and #3 are just as important. :)

Ar-Rabsolutely! I'm just conservative when I quote others.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Mockingbird » Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:17 am

Whoops, you beat me to the letter, and it's a good thing too because I was never going to get around to it. A (more than) few suggestions, if you'd like to take them.

I agree with Peter, you've got to cut it down to a page, these people won't read more. Don't tell them what you're going to tell them, as in forget the 'will passionately argue,' just state your case as briefly as possible. Also, forget the 'critically acclaimed' stuff, they don't care, talk about profits, profits, profits. I would keep the stuff about bad critical opinion and word-of-mouth because that's what killed them and they know it.

They also know it's largely the studio's fault that the adaptation failed, and this may be the one time when they are sensitive to it. I like that line about putting faith in Chris Weitz--I think this is the place to have a very condensed version of your praise for His Dark Materials, and mention how promisingly the adaptation seemed to be developing and how regrettable the last minute edits were. If you want, you might mention that as Chris Weitz stated, the people who are going to boycott are always going to boycott so trying to appease them did (and will continue to do) nothing but hurt the quality of the films.

Also, pick one angle to focus on, that will help with the length of the letter as well. I wouldn't waste my time talking about what could have been--if they plan to do the sequels, they won't restructure the movie and add the original ending back to the DVD, I would just forget it. Do you want the sequels more or the extended DVD? I would say sequels because I expect that an extended DVD will come eventually anyway while the sequels still hang in the balance.

It is the hope of the fan community that New Line Cinema will soon own the two most successful film franchises of the century -- The Lord of the Rings and His Dark Materials. That is still our hope.

I think you're hitting all the right notes there. :smile:
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby skywaterblue » Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:08 am

I am a strong supporter of the idea of this letter, but agree with most of the thread when I say it is tl;dr.

Can I also say? I think it very unlikely there are going to be sequels, so I'd rather see a director's cut the way it was intended to be seen. Deciding what our number one priority is with this fan action will help cut the letter down.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby jessia » Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:16 pm

skywaterblue wrote:Can I also say? I think it very unlikely there are going to be sequels, so I'd rather see a director's cut the way it was intended to be seen. Deciding what our number one priority is with this fan action will help cut the letter down.

i don't know about the sequels... the film is doing very well outside of the north american box office so who knows... so maybe we should demand of them more artistic freedom for those films as well.
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into her pure features come from the pure constellations?"
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby Peter » Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:08 pm

Meant to add:

You must write the letter to a real person, addressed by name not position or function. You may need to do some research to find out the name of the real person who is in a position to act on the contents of your letter.
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby delta10 » Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:36 pm

skywaterblue wrote: Deciding what our number one priority ...

My sense is that lobbying for the sequels is the higher priority because it is the more immediate and difficult case to make.

If the sequels get made, a director's cut DVD (w/o the ending... which we'd see eventually in the sequel) would almost certainly be forthcoming.

On the other hand, if the sequels don't get made, fans could still then lobby, with high probability of success, for a directors cut DVD (w/ending).
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Re: Drafts of letters?

Postby namster » Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:33 am

Two thank yous and a multidimensional handshake!

Mockingbird wrote:I agree with Peter, you've got to cut it down to a page, these people won't read more. Don't tell them what you're going to tell them, as in forget the 'will passionately argue,' just state your case as briefly as possible. Also, forget the 'critically acclaimed' stuff, they don't care, talk about profits, profits, profits. I would keep the stuff about bad critical opinion and word-of-mouth because that's what killed them and they know it.

Those are good suggestions, and if I have time I'll try to implement them or die trying. But woe, New Line might sack the sequels before I finish editing this letter!

Mockingbird wrote:They also know it's largely the studio's fault that the adaptation failed, and this may be the one time when they are sensitive to it.

I'm never convinced that corporate executives are ever aware of their own mistakes. But I sure hope you're right, Mockingbird...

Mockingbird wrote:Also, pick one angle to focus on, that will help with the length of the letter as well. I wouldn't waste my time talking about what could have been--if they plan to do the sequels, they won't restructure the movie and add the original ending back to the DVD, I would just forget it. Do you want the sequels more or the extended DVD? I would say sequels because I expect that an extended DVD will come eventually anyway while the sequels still hang in the balance.

You make a convincing argument, but I'm divided on this. Because it looks like the overwhelming majority of the North American movie-going public have not watched The Golden Compass, and they aren't going to be hot over it by a DVD release of the theatrical cut (let's face it, I'm in the minority for liking the movie, what can I say?). I sincerely believe that if they released some sort of "extended edition" DVD as soon as possible, then we'd get a lot more interest in the series and probably much greater potential attendence for the sequels and therefore more motivation to finance said sequels. I don't know, I'm still divided on this point...

skywaterblue wrote:Deciding what our number one priority is with this fan action will help cut the letter down.

Appunto, skywaterblue. I'm more than willing to follow any concensus within the fan community, as long as we come up with a decision. I twiddle my thumbs until the day we saddle forth into battle -- centaurs-with-throwing-nets-getting-spayed-by-bears kind of battle.

Peter wrote:You must write the letter to a real person, addressed by name not position or function. You may need to do some research to find out the name of the real person who is in a position to act on the contents of your letter.

Sage advice from the panda. But I'm swamped in schoolwork in the now. I was secretly hoping somebody else would look all of this up for me... ;)
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